Feeling a little pleased with myself this evening as I have grabbed the proverbial bull by the horns on this website and have had great fun ‘clicking all the buttons’! You know the scary feeling of anticipation you experience when you are about to perform an action and you don’t know what the end result will be…… Thankfully, as long as you don’t hit the ‘Save & Publish’ button, everything can be undone! It can also be undone afterwards but that’s a pain in the ass!
This talk of hitting buttons, however, has dredged up a memory from my childhood. When I was 10 years old, my parents owned a hotel. Now, we’ve all seen these Fire Alarms – they clearly say ‘BREAK GLASS’. So, in a moment of childish curiosity (that is how we learn is it not?) when I PUSHED the glass, I really didn’t expect it move. I really, REALLY didn’t expect it to push the sodding button sitting behind it!!!
Cue one fire bell ringing itself off the wall and no-one on the premises knowing how to turn the darn thing off. Whilst everyone was panicking on where this fire could be, as it certainly wasn’t in the Reception area where the alarm panel was saying it should be, three big fire engines came flying into the car-park, blue lights flashing, sirens screaming and tyres squealing as they ground to a halt.
My poor mother nearly passed out when she saw them. No-one had told her the alarm system was rigged up to the local fire station!
And where was I as all this was happening? Hiding in the back of the reception desk, reading a story to my baby sister and really hoping that my ‘I know nothing’ face would keep me out of trouble!
Long story short – the firemen were able to quieten the non-stop alarm and, after a thorough check of the building to ensure all was good, they enjoyed some tea and sandwiches before heading back to the station at a far more leisurely pace than they had left it earlier.
Once my stressed out mother had downed a few double brandies, she undertook a spot of investigating. It didn’t take her long to sniff out the culprit. It would appear my ‘I’m Innocent’ expression was very easily interpreted into ‘I’m as Guilty as Hell, Lead Me to the Nearest Dungeon and Be Done with It.’
As there was no dungeon available, however, I was subjected to an even WORSE punishment… Sent to my room and not allowed to read my books! YIKES!!! A fate worse than death. Luckily, for my mother, Esther Rantzen was yet to set up her Childline charity or three tyre-squealing fire engines would have been the least of her worries!!!!!